Ray Bolts To Russia

1) For those who may have missed it, former Ottawa Senator goalie and probably the hottest, sexiest and most f*able goaltender in the NHL, ray Emery will NOT be playing hockey in the NHL, or anywhere in North America in 2008-09. Despite my buddy fauxrumors predicting he would land in LA, Edmonton or Washington on a 3 year $12 Million deal, the sexy Emery has flown to Russia. According to Canadian media reports Ray Emery's NHL career is taking a detour — through Russia, where he'll collect his paycheque in rubles. The goaltender, whose contract was bought out by the Senators last month, has agreed to a one-year deal which could pay him in excess of $2 million plus bonuses next season with Atlant Mytishchi of the newly-formed Kontinental Hockey League in Russia.

2) As FR2 postulated last week, the Senators did Ray a HUGE favour by buying him out of his contract. Not only will Ray receive approximately a half million dollars from his former team the next 4 years for doing nothing, he will now make an additional 2 million tax free playing in Russia, plus whatever bonuses they gave him. No matter the bonus situation, Emery will receive MORE this season than if he had stayed in the NHL with Ottawa.

3) While some pundits have opined that this is a mistake by Emery to go over to Europe to play next season, we at FAUXRUMORS respectfully disagree. By bypassing the NHL he will be out of the glare of the camera eye for a year. Ray needs some time away to help heal the wounds (real and media generated) from last season. If he has a good season playing in the now well regarded KHL he will undoubtedly be a wanted man come July 2009. Time heals all wounds is what they say, and in NHL parlance, memories are short. If Ray has a good season all they will see is a 27 year old goalie not yet in his prime who might help a team get to the next level. Either way, he won't be hurting for cash any time soon. The 2 mil+bonuses plus the 1/3 of 2.5 the Sens will paying him the next few years should keep Ray's wardrobe up to date. I will sadly miss the topless dressing room interviews he was known for. An amazingly hot and downright SEXY physique for a goaltender. I know I'd love to tap his ass!