Burke's Secret Destination?

0) Here is a little photo taken of me at a recent party attended by the entire Fauxrumors gang. Sorry to say though, it is not my face you can see...I am the receiver on this one!

1) We usually are not ones to listen to the Toronto media. In fact we usually read what they say and believe that the exact opposite is the likely reality of a situation. However with regard to the Brian Burke to Toronto rumours we believe that 'where there is smoke there is fire' argument may have merit.

2) First we should verify that despite constant rumours and innuendos we here at Fauxrumors have no sexual interest or lusting for Mr. Burke. We would find him to be too old and dominating as a sexual partner. The entire Fauxrumors gang much prefers being in the dominant role and must then focus our affections on more feminine men. While some may say Burke has a predator aura to him, we much prefer being the older 'predator' type in our gay relationships.

3) Just too many coincidences are occurring to ignore. To refresh the memories/educate the folks who may not recall:

• Brian Burke is the current GM of the Anaheim Ducks. He successfully orchestrated the team to a cup win in 2007.


• His current contract with the Ducks has one year remaining and has yet to sign an extension that the ownership supposedly offered him this past spring.


• The Maple Leafs fired their GM, John Ferguson Jr, (JFJ) this past winter. It was widely rumoured that Burke was in line for the position.


• When Burke was 'unavailable', or so we were told, the Leafs hired Cliff Fletcher to be the 'interim' GM until a permanent individual could be hired in the off season.


• Burke states that he will live up to his contract (one more year) then decide what he will do from there.


• Toronto announces that Fletcher will stay on as GM through the 2008-09 season.

3) It doesn't take a rocket scientist to deduce the possibilities here. That Burke will finish up another season in southern California. Allow Fletcher to do the dirty work of unloading the bloated contracts that JFJ signed, and begin the rebuild. Then after next season the Leafs can hire Burke to come on and finish the process of rebuilding the troubled Toronto franchise like he did with Anaheim.

4) This is not to say that this is written in stone. In fact we were at first dubious of this. We are told repeatedly that Burke is one of the brightest minds in the game today. (He'll tell you himself if you ask) Despite his gruff/abrasive style (and we at Fauxrumors like our men to be gruff and abrasive...mmm), he is very well liked and regarded in NHL circles.(Outside of Edmonton) However, IF Burke is that smart, why in hell would he want to come to the ever-dysfunctional franchise/media circus in Toronto? Is it all an ego trip? Who could ask for a better situation that what he has now? He lives/works in Southern California. He's already won, so the pressure is minimal. He's making very good money. Why turn this away for a chance to be in the middle ring of the media circus that is Toronto?

5) Our sources tell us: "Yes, it IS about Burke's ego here. He wants to be the one to do something no one has done in over 40 years". That is, bring a Cup back to Canada's biggest city. A feat that would guarantee Burke hockey immortality. A place in hockey lore forever more! If this is true we would then have to lower our regard for the man. After all, to pull your family out of an ideal circumstance, back to the cold winters, into a high stress environment, and especially into the microscope they will be under, would be a poor decision in our opinion. Stay tuned. The wheels appear to be moving in this direction. And besides, now at this point I have hedged my bets and have written posts saying Burke will be there, and posts saying he will never end up there. Either way I will be able to pump my fist (among other things) and claim victory for being correct once again!